great new concept for rewarding & punishment

A great way to have children do things you want...keep in mind this may only work for children 7 and under:
create a sticker chart. Use colors of the child's choice and also let them pick out the stickers. Make squares and each time the child does something worth rewarding ie. picking up their toys, putting their dishes in the sink, brushing their teeth etc they get a sticker. Each time they disobey they get a sticker removed from the chart. Now the best part about this is when they reach a certain number of stickers they get a small reward. For my children I use a few small things pokemon cards, or a small dollar amount that they can use toward their large reward. They get the large reward when they finish their chart.

Breast Cancer-IBC

Hello all! Today is a more serious post, about Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I heard about a breast cancer today that can move from stage one to four over a period of four months and is virtually undetectable. Unfortunately not only is this cancer quick, but it is also not just effecting women over 35-40 (the age where doctors recommend mammograms) women as young as 16 have died from this cancer. This cancer also has no lumps and cannot be detected on a mammogram. Below I have inserted a link to you tube. Please watch it and spread awareness of this viscous cancer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s9_UrVtc6c

Keeping your marriage healthy

Sometimes it is difficult to keep your marriage healthy, especially when you have multiple kids and you both work. It seems like there are not enough hours in the day! The best thing to do is make "grown up time". Get a babysitter once a month and have date night, don't just go to a movie or dinner. Do something fun and exciting like you did before the two of you lived together, or had children. Most people think the best part of a relationship is the beginning...getting to know each other, your first kiss, and dating. This is the only the "best part" if you let it be. Take charge of your relationship let tomorrow be the best part and the day after. Also be spontaneous, with children and work your life consists of a routine...it isn't very fun if you have an itinerary for your only night out together for that month. Oh and don't be afraid to rent a hotel room for the night in your town, it makes for a nice get-a-way with out leaving.

How to get the date

Dating is a game, the girl that gets the guy is the one that learns the rules and how to play the game! The first rule of dating is you have to show interest, but you have to make him want you more than you want him. If you want a true relationship you have to be fun, witty, and be able to carry a conversation. Just being cute and ditsy will make him want to sleep with you, thats it and once that has happened he will not want anything to do with you. Harsh but true. To make a solid foundation for a relationship you must be compatible and learn to be friends. Keep in mind that becoming friends first could also be a little sticky if you break up, it is hard to stay friends after you have been in a relationship. (especially if you were intimate). You must always look nice, but not too nice, my husband tells me I look gorgeous any time I wear sweats and put my hair in a pony tail...you just have to listen to what he tells you! It also never hurts to keep a pack of gum with you, nothing is worse then someone you are interested in with bad breath. When you are first interested the best thing is to go out in a group, this way there are no uncomfortable moments when you are trying to get to know each other, do something fun...take a group to a karaoke bar where there is singing, pool, etc. Remember if you are going to drink don't have too much it's never appealing if the guy you are interested thinks you are going to be a lot of work. Some people are happy drunks, but more often than not my girlfriends end up crying, throwing up, or being really annoying by then end of the night if too many drinks have been downed. Hope this helps to get you started! Good luck.

Partnerships of marriage also includes chores!

A marriage is partnership. When one person "drops the ball" it's hard for the other half to pick up the slack. One of the best ways to have a happy marriage is to keep open communication. If you are feeling like you contribute more than your spouse that needs to be said. For instance if you live in a house hold where you are both working outside of the home, yet you are "expected" to also do all of the cooking and cleaning and raising of the children it may be time for you and your spouse to set down and work out a schedule. I understand that being a stay at home mother you have more "time" to do these things, however when you are a stay at home mother all of your time is consumed by these three tasks. Now working and then trying to do all of the other "expectations" will wear you down and leave resentment toward your spouse, any resentment in a relationship is not healthy. By setting ground rules with your spouse and sharing the house hold chores such as cooking and cleaning you will both be happier! Maybe if you cook dinner have your husband do the dishes while you put the kids to bed. Another suggestion is to have a cleaning company come in once or twice a month (while you are both at work) to do the deep cleaning for you. You can usually find a good company for $55-$60/cleaning. For me the $120 a month is less than we spend on our cable bill and is worth every penny. If there isn't an extra $120/mth in the budget you may want to reevaluate and see where you can make small cuts. Good luck!

How to make it through the grocery store with a wild two year old.

For any of you who are mothers, you understand that making it through the grocery store with a two or three year old is very difficult. Now in the grocery store I watch many parents, some try to threaten the kids under their breath (this doesn't work the child usually doesn't take the parent serious, especially if there is shopping to be done). The best method I have found to work is the tickle monster! Each time my child is acting up in the store, I simply go into my purse and pull out the tickle monster (imaginary creature that makes my fingers give tickles), I then proceed to tickle my child until the laughing begins and they are distracted from acting out. In my opinion it is much better to have a laughing child rather than a screaming one. After this you can then follow up with a little bribe, some parents are against bribing but I feel that if the bribe is small and doesn't harm your children it isn't really a bribe but more of a negotiation. For my kids the "negotiation" usually consists of "if you can be well behaved in the store then you can have a blank" Fill in the blank with something your children will enjoy, but not necessarily something from off of your grocery list. This could include Eggo's, or fruit snacks, or maybe just their favorite snack or meal.

Hopefully this hint will be as successful for you as it has been for me! Happy grocery hunting.

First blog

Hello All and welcome! First I am going to start off by saying each individual has unique and different situations, but hopefully the advice you read here will help you overcome at least one trial in your life. After all isn't that what life is all about...trial and error.

In this blog you will find very different situations, everything from coping with the terrible twos to growing up with an alcoholic father and moving forward. There will also be advice on how to make your relationship with your spouse stronger. Enjoy and hopefully you will get everything out of life that you expect.